The picture of how things ought to be
I have constructed carefully.
But the outside world is not aligned
with what I hold inside my mind.
How dare the world now present
what I don't prefer and do resent!
Resistance arises to what is here,
thoughts, feelings, emotions all appear.
The resulting mess of energy
is not something I want to see.
With force of will I push it down
beneath, behind, underground.
I add it to the suppressed glob
that grows like an unruly mob
that affects all life's interactions
divides, separates, creates factions.
What I have pushed down so deep
appears as dreams that haunt my sleep,
the mind's attempts to undo this mess,
it's not a fix - just some needed rest.
By Grace, through stillness, I start to see
that glob of tar... it isn't me.
I turn my gaze to that "thing"
and Awareness begins the melt of spring.
Slowly and with courage now
that which never should be bound,
I release and experience the grief
the anger, sadness, such relief!
Moving on from this point
I dismantle preferences joint by joint
I erase my expectations of how
Life should unfold - this is my vow.
For Nature paints just as She will
and knowing my desires mean nil
I relax, sit back, enjoy the show...
Nothing to do, nowhere to go.